Monday, December 18, 2006

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

You'll need the following:

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour, sifted
1/2 t. salt
1 cup bourbon
1 pound pecans, chopped
3 cups white raisins (or use candied fruit)
1 t. nutmeg
AND
~ a very large bottle of bourbon whiskey ~


First, sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Assemble all of the ingredients.
Check the whiskey again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat this step.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and cream until beat.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay... try another cup.
Turn off the mixer.
Beat six leggs and add to the bowl, then chunk in the cup of dried flut.
Mix on the tuner.
Throw in two quarts of flour.
Gradually pour in the cow.
Add 2 dried anything.
If the fried druit gets struck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check it again for tonsistency.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares???
Now sift the nutmeg and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
And the spoon.
Of whiskee.
Or something.
Whatever you find left.
Grease the oven.
Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Pour the oven into the batter.
Throw the bowl out the window.
Lick the batter off the floor.
Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees.
Finish the blobble of whishy and flow to bed.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, I got a little confused by the Large fluffy bowl, but carried on reading and it all became clear - to the extent that I was in tears of laughter.

I think I'd have to sunstitute the bottle of Whiskey for Vodka cuz Whiskey makes me heave lol.

Merry Christmas Hon.

Bobkat said...

Ah, the first time I saw this I laughed til it hurt!

As far as I can tell, it's the perfect recipe :-)

Anonymous said...

that made me laugh out loud.

though i'd have to be that wasted to eat christmas cake.. unless it's just the batter. why ruin it with cooking anyway!

sorry to read about the HUGE ouchy! that sounds and looks horrendous.

gecmis olsun babe. i hope you are recoving. whiskey is a great pain killer :)

MaR said...

LOL, I just loved it!

Anonymous said...

LOL, that's awesome!! :)