I have always struggled with the idea of success, seeing myself as the failure my family always told me I was. I know I work hard, but I don't see myself as a success. I have failed at so much in my lifetime. I could do so much better....
Whilst in conversation with my very good (and well-read) friend Cyberkitten, he mentioned that I had 'Imposter Complex'.
Yay, I thought - a complex to add to my neuroses, paranoia and phobias......so I Googled it (well, who wouldn't?)....
· Do you secretly worry that others will find out that you're not as bright and capable as they think you are?
· Do you sometimes shy away from challenges because of nagging self-doubt?
· Do you tend to chalk your accomplishments up to being a "fluke," “no big deal” or the fact that people just "like" you?
· Do you hate making a mistake, being less than fully prepared or not doing things perfectly?
· Do you tend to feel crushed by even constructive criticism, seeing it as evidence of your "ineptness?"
· When you do succeed, do you think, "Phew, I fooled 'em this time but I may not be so lucky next time."
· Do you believe that other people (students, colleagues, competitors) are smarter and more capable than you are?
· Do you live in fear of being found out, discovered, unmasked?