Suddenly I knew - I had to go here........
well, not at 5am, obviously, but I felt I had to go to the town I grew up in. But not the houses I lived in, but the pool I spent some of my happiest times at during my turbulent childhood.
And as when I was a child, I went alone.
MB offered to come, but I felt I had to be alone. I packed my towels, cossie, slapped on some suncream and fled up the motorway as soon as MB was out of bed.
Sandford Lido celebrated its 70th anniversary last year, and I haven't been there for over 20yrs. This is when it was first finished.
While there, I did swing past my old childhood homes. All my schools are gone now, but number 37 and 57 are still there. No happy memories there - but I spent a pleasant two hours at the pool, swimming, diving, reading and reminiscing. I wondered if 'that' woman or 'this' woman went to school with me. No one knew me, I left town 24 years ago, I felt I was almost invisible.
Normally my condition drives me to flee home - this is the first time I have felt the need to go out of my safety zone. No MB, no crazies, no bobkat - just me.
Now? Now I feel a little at peace. Perhaps I have found somewhere I can go to free my mind from its nasty little demons - perhaps that's why I had to go.