Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I hate this week.....


It's the week on the run-up to Mother's Day. My least favourite time of the year.

This one day a year that reminds me, without fail every year, that I am not, nor ever will be a Mother/mum/mummy..or even a mom or a mommy.....

I have mentioned this before, and you have all been so unstintingly supportive, sympathetic and encouraging.

But that doesn't make this particular personal demon go away, no matter how much bloglove is shared around - and every year it comes back, as raw and unforgiving as ever.

by the by, I think I should make an appointment with my doctor; constant headaches, stomach aches, complete weariness, short temper, weepy, insomnia and dermatitis - all sounds like stress to me. I put it down to cold turkey - nicotene and prozac in one fell swoop.
Update: OK, been to see sympathetic (but not patronising) female locum (female GP was a three week wait!). I am 'severely depressed' (it must be right - I did a questionnaire!!), withdrawal and have unrelated dermatitis. The pains in my knees are the result of the weight I have put on since giving up smoking. She actually made the connection between surgery, no children and depression - so rarely do doctors dare verbalise that connection!
I have a prescription for steroidal cream for the dermatitis.
[holds up hands] And I will finally fill my 4 month old prescription for prozac.
Oh, and she wishes me the best of luck for the re-enactment season :-)

cq

17 comments:

CyberKitten said...

Remember CQ - Prozac is your friend.....

Bob-kat said...

Cold turkey is best after Xmas! ;-) Honestly though, go see the doc adn get some advice. Sounds like stress adn withdrawal to me too! {hugs}.

Le laquet said...

I am so with you on this one. BIg deep breaths petal

RCA said...

But the best part is being able to return the little angels at the end of the day...

You've been a nanny/babysitter to generations of children, an honouary aunt and staunch carer. You've had and will have exposures to all the best bits without the labour, the expense, the exhaustion, the time lost, the dramas, the teenage moments, the concern/paranoid fears etc.

Your life is hardly empty of their influence (or their's of yours). And yes obviously its a different relationship, but we take what we can get and do the best with it.

No nicotine good. No prozac BAD, its a chemical thing so treat it chemically.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

You are having a terible time, my dear...I just saw a program here this morning on people with allergy's to wheat and wheat related products and ALL the symptoms you mentioned, which I realize could caused be many things, were on the list of symptoms one has when one is allergic to gluten/wheat/soy, etc. Maybe you might get tested for that since you are thinking of going to the doctor anyway...! Good luck my dear.
I remember you writing about Mother's Day before and the feelings it brings up for you...I am so sorry that this is such a deep pain, dear CQ.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I know how you feel, CQ. A lot of people feel a little lonely at this time.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

My Blog Pal....
I just was oiver at KEDA'S and she had this link that you might have some fun with, living in The UK as you do....
http://troubled-diva.com/labels/rednoseday.html

It's a wondderful idea and well, I thought you might enjoy it, and maybe join in!

Walker said...

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down and can understand why and how you feel.

Take care @-;--

Aginoth said...

Prozac good...No Prozac Bad

*cuddles box of prozac protectively*

Juggling Mother said...

I echo everyoe else. take the prozac! It's a physical deficiency for you. You not taking prozac is as stupid as Aggie not taking insulin. He doesn't make it himself, so needs the chemical version. You don't make it yourself, so need the chemical version.

Mothers day isn't all it's cracked up to be. you get to have the girls on saturday, so feel free to pretend for the day - it's not the same, but it's better in many ways;-)

Fizzy said...

I have similar feelings and have a docs appointment for tomorrow, not sure if I am in control or not and whether to cancel it or not!
I am thinking about you loads , it is a horrible situation to be in. terrible - your blog buddies are giving out a lot of advie up there

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Nt dear...I've been thinking a lot about you and it occurs to me as it has to others...Maybe the Priozac is a total neccessity for you and you should be off it. Like JM said above, like Insulin for Aginoth, or my brother....
I hope you get it figured out soon, dear...
If you are of a mind, go on over and read my post about Sammy...I think you might enjoy iy.

Fizzy said...

i think you have done the right thing. Thank goodness you have such a good an understanding GP.
(I chickened out and cancelled)

Bob-kat said...

Glad you got an understanding GP Hon :-) I really do hope you feel better soon and once I get this essay out of the way and my life back we can go for a good girly night out. Meanwhile, you know where I am. I'm never too busy to listen or send hugs! {hugs}.

Bob-kat said...

Michele sent me to check up on you :-)

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Happy to read you saw the doc and I love that she said what she did! I'm also happy to hear you filled that perscription...And it occurs to me that maybe some of my back pain/joint pain might be due to weight gain, too....this was important for me to read my dear...
((((((HUGS)))))

utenzi said...

That sounds pretty rough, CQ. Maybe you should just spend this week each year on a cruise or some such thing where you can keep real busy and distracted -- maybe with a little sun and water to enjoy as well.