Friday, November 23, 2007

A Letter

from an unknown person:

I'm sure your dad will make a full recovery. I have two friends in their forties who were diagnosed with cancer last year, and they are both responding to treatment and getting their lives back. It's strange but they both said the same thing to me, independently of one another: "I just wished at times that the family could see me and not the cancer..." I think for family members that's almost impossible, isn't it? The mere mention of the 'c' word and all sense of proportion goes out of the window, doesn't it? My mother survived it twice and lived to a ripe old age, so as difficult as it may seem to be optimistic when faced with treatment regimes and hospitalisation, you must try to stay positive for your dad - and for the sake of your own sanity. You can drive yourself insane with worst case scenarios. It's easy for me to say but don't do it. All you can do is take it all one day at a time and let your dad take the lead with regard to how each day is going to be. It's going to be very hard and there will be days when you are going to feel like the parent. Let those around you support you when they offer it; you don't get a medal for soldiering on alone and your dad wouldn't want you to carry all that weight without help. For what it's worth, even though we've never met, someone who has been through it twice will be thinking of you, especially as we go into the Christmas season, a family time made all the more poignant when a family member is temporarily not all they were. Remember to keep the 'temporarily' in mind. I'm sure he will be the dad he was pre-cancer in no time at all. Chin up...

Thank you, Andrew - your words give me strength.

Have you left a suggestion for the little bear with no name? Little Bear needs a name...all suggestions considered.

cq

8 comments:

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

What a wobderful letter, CQ...And such GREAT GREAT advice, too...! Hard to do, but good to try and remember.....!

Hope you have a lovely weekend, my dear.

Carmi said...

As I stand watch over a steady stream of family members taking up residence in hospitals far away, I read this and draw strength from the caring of those who surround us.

I've never underestimated the power of well-placed advice from those who matter. I love this. Andrew's my new best friend :)

Michele's my old best friend. That's why she sent me back for yet more inspiration.

LadyBugCrossing said...

Awwww... How wonderful!!
xoxo
LBC

Bob-kat said...

Hi Hon. That is good advice. I also know someone that was in their 50's and survived colon cancer (that was fairly advanced too) and they are fit as a fiddle today. This sort of thing is never easy for anyone to deal with. You know where I am :)

BTW - I am still playing hostess to the nameless bear. They are quite conmfortable but miss their mum. Email me at work, perhaps we could have a coffee? Take care.

Dawn said...

What a wonderfully poignant letter filled with caring words and wonderful advice.

When friends from around the world send things such as this, it makes all the difference in the world, regardless of whether we've had the pleasure of meeting face to face or not.

It proves to me that we don't NEED to meet face to face to show someone we care about the,.

Take care hon!

gautami said...

Glad I got to read that letter. Very caring and sane advice if any.

It gives inspiration to all of us..

I must thank michele for sending me here today.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Well written, CQ, and very caring.

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Michele sent me today, but you know I am here a lot anyway!

I still think this letter is inspirational and very comforting, too, with very very good advice!

I have a NEW Post up with Birdies and Flowers and Fruits, too!

Glad you are enjoying "WW"...I LOVE the President and The First Lady, too...GOOD Acting on both their parts...She is in it more, later.....I think seasn two, we see more of her and them together....!

BTW: Studio 60 is out on DVD now...Thank God for that! At least it isn't lost forever.....!