A Letter

from an unknown person:

I'm sure your dad will make a full recovery. I have two friends in their forties who were diagnosed with cancer last year, and they are both responding to treatment and getting their lives back. It's strange but they both said the same thing to me, independently of one another: "I just wished at times that the family could see me and not the cancer..." I think for family members that's almost impossible, isn't it? The mere mention of the 'c' word and all sense of proportion goes out of the window, doesn't it? My mother survived it twice and lived to a ripe old age, so as difficult as it may seem to be optimistic when faced with treatment regimes and hospitalisation, you must try to stay positive for your dad - and for the sake of your own sanity. You can drive yourself insane with worst case scenarios. It's easy for me to say but don't do it. All you can do is take it all one day at a time and let your dad take the lead with regard to how each day is going to be. It's going to be very hard and there will be days when you are going to feel like the parent. Let those around you support you when they offer it; you don't get a medal for soldiering on alone and your dad wouldn't want you to carry all that weight without help. For what it's worth, even though we've never met, someone who has been through it twice will be thinking of you, especially as we go into the Christmas season, a family time made all the more poignant when a family member is temporarily not all they were. Remember to keep the 'temporarily' in mind. I'm sure he will be the dad he was pre-cancer in no time at all. Chin up...

Thank you, Andrew - your words give me strength.

Have you left a suggestion for the little bear with no name? Little Bear needs a name...all suggestions considered.

cq