CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

You'll need the following:

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 teaspoons baking powder
3 cups flour, sifted
1/2 t. salt
1 cup bourbon
1 pound pecans, chopped
3 cups white raisins (or use candied fruit)
1 t. nutmeg
AND
~ a very large bottle of bourbon whiskey ~

First, sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Assemble all of the ingredients.
Check the whiskey again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat this step.
Turn on the electric mixer and beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar and cream until beat.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay... try another cup.
Turn off the mixer.
Beat six leggs and add to the bowl, then chunk in the cup of dried flut.
Mix on the tuner.
Throw in two quarts of flour.
Gradually pour in the cow.
Add 2 dried anything.
If the fried druit gets struck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey and check it again for tonsistency.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares???
Now sift the nutmeg and strain your nuts.

Add one table.
And the spoon.

Of whiskee.

Or something.

Whatever you find left.
Grease the oven.
Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Pour the oven into the batter.

Throw the bowl out the window.
Lick the batter off the floor.
Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees.
Finish the blobble of whishy and flow to bed.