Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Thoughts to Ponder

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out thewindow?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

These are great...I've seen a few of them before but many I had never seen before or remembered that I did! (LOL)
Fun, fun, fun!
Hope the Ski-WAtching is goingswimmingly...Oh No, I should say Skiingly, maybe???

Debby said...

I have to admit, I have pondered the question more than once - how did they know that milk was going to come out of that cow?!!

mar said...

Funny observations.I specially like the one about the light in the fridge... Are you home in one piece and are you happy to be home, cq dear?

Le laquet said...

Lovely, I have to admit that I push the button again and again! ?!?

Tara said...

"Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?"

I love it!!

Did you recover from your bumps and bruises yet?

Uisce said...

the toast question is easy -- it's the hubby-had-better-apologize-if-he-ever-wants-to-eat-anything-but-burnt-toast-for-the-rest-of-his-life setting

CyberKitten said...

CQ has actually been delayed on her journey back from icy Bavaria... I'll let her fill you all in with the details...

mar said...

hi, cq. back from Brokeback Mountain, I thought I could cry on your shoulder *sigh*

greatwhitebear said...