Christmas Memories - Jean-Luc II

'..post a comment here on my blog with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL CHRISTMAS MEMORY of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.'
You can find all 28 here. It was an idea I picked up from Oldoldlady. And then I made it bigger!
At my Crazie Christmas Party the other night, without telling them what it was for, I had each adult give me a number between 1 and 28. So there are 6 memories!

These are the memories that I have now recalled and will tell you about - at two a day (speeded up as it's the holidays!) :-)

Next up is number 13 (and don't blame me - they were picked as unbiasedly as possible!)

Jean-Luc Picard said...
Do you remember the time we went to see Santa at the store, and you tried to pull his beard off?
You learnt a few words you hadn't heard before then!

oh yeah - that one.........

Jean-Luc was about fifteen and I was thirteen. During the Christmas break from Star Fleet, we went shopping. But first, we stopped off at a Klingon bar. Dressed in our finery, we easily passed for sixteen and the huge barman had no qualms in serving us. That was the first (and last!) time I had bloodwine. Of course, I know Jean-Luc still drinks it now and then at ceremonial occasions, but I think he's pretty much sworn off it too!

Well, we downed a few goblets of bloodwine and staggered out into the street. Conveyances whizzed past us down the San Francisco street and pedestrians yelled at the annoying teenagers who got in their way. As for us? We were having a ball! Jean-Luc was telling me all about his latest debates with Boothby and how he was going to be a Star Fleet Captain, while I was clinging onto his arm to stay upright.

We got as far as the huge Mall before grinding to a halt. Malls were cool, much like the 20thC Malls, but with no stock. Huge windows were filled with magical things and, in the back, replicators produced whatever you asked for. If you wanted your gift wrapped, then there were replicators that did that too - you could even design your own wrapping paper. They were fantastic places to shop, as long as there was no limit to your imagination!

I ordered the gifts for my family and, as the replicators would take a while to create, wrap and collate my gifts, then we went for a walk. In one store there was a Santa. He was a huge jolly man, and had a tall dark elf with pointed ears.

Now remember, I had imbibed a fair amount of bloodwine and it all rushed to my head!

'It's Captain Kirk!' I yelled, running towards Santa.

'No, it's not! It can't be!' yelled Jean-Luc, pulling on my jacket. 'He's dead!'

'It is, it's Captain James Kirk!' I slurred as I reached the gaudy throne and its occupant. The elf quizzically raised one eyebrow.

'And that's Mr Spock!' I said accusingly, pointing at the elf.

Jean Luc caught up with me and pulled me back.

'How can it be Kirk?' he asked, puffing slightly. 'He's been dead for years.'

'Time travel!' I said loudly. 'Leggo!' and I wrenched free and walked steadily, but swaying slightly, up to the nonplussed Santa.

'You're James T Kirk.' I said. 'Former Captain of the USS Enterprise.' and with that I tugged on his beard. To my surprise, and Jean-Luc's horror, the beard came away in my hand, revealing a very familiar ruddy face. The man behind the beard muttered a selection of Klingon and ferengi oaths - which I cannot repeat here, being a lady!

'You are Kirk!' breathed Jean-Luc. 'Have you come here from another dimension in outer space?'

'No!' snapped Kirk, snatching his beard back. 'I'm from Iowa - why does everyone ask me that question!'

cq