Anniversaries tend to creep up on you and 'boo!' you - especially when they are not happy memories.
My dreams are being plagued by an image.......and I have managed to pin down why.
It is 25 years this year since a 12 year old boy died in my arms, bleeding out his lifeblood on my clothes.
I don't know the exact date, but it was about now in 1985 because I was job hunting. I got off the bus and as I prepared to cross the road a small boy darted past me to run across the road.
To this day I know I could have grabbed the hood on his parker and stopped him before he ran into the path of a lorry.
But I didn't react quick enough - or didn't want to grab a strange child - or was preoccupied with trying to find work - stressing about an interview I had scheduled the next day.
No excuses; I could have grabbed him and I didn't - and he died.
There is an advert on TV at the moment about drinking and driving and to drive home the message a man is seeing the image of the crumpled child he is responsible for wherever he goes.
My image is not the boy dying in my arms, his body pulped and his skull smashed.
My image is a blur of a child running past me into the road........
He will live with me until the day I die.......