Saturday, January 21, 2006

Ten Commandments

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating.In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff really works!"



OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

This is fun, CQ!! LOL, LOL, LOL...I like that Bonus Commandment, the best...It sort of sums it all up, doesn't it?

How are your plans coming for the big trip? Be sure to take a camera with you, my dear..and remember, No Broken Bones, Allowed! (lol)

Viamarie said...

Funny post especially Commandment # 4.

Cheers from Michele!

Le laquet said...

lol! Excellent CQ, I am printing it off to pop on Simon's pillow tonight!

Suzanne said...

Too, too funny!

Hello, Michele sent me!

ribbiticus said...

so true! the 8th one's my fave. :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I love the 10th one!

NikNox said...

Hehe. Great post!

Enjoy the skiing :)

Here from Michele's!

(Ignore my Blogger identity though, it's old and unused)


Juggling Mother said...

And that is how you expect to persuade MB to do the deed is it?


craziequeen said...

ah well, you see...... I am safe in the assumption that after 20yrs and his refusal of an offer to marry in LA in the Hollywood Hills - he ain't gonna marry I might as well make light of it....


Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

OMG this is fkin' hilarious!! LOLOLOL