Sunday, December 30, 2007

100 Things….....for New Years

I have never done one of these - so better late than never. Time to demystify the crazie one.....

1. I have registered for 2008 Race for Life in support of Cancer Research – a promise is a promise.
2. I want to improve on 5k in 54 minutes and 26 seconds.
3. But I accept I have bad knees and a bad back. I have started cycling to prepare.
4. I got a letter telling me I was one of the top fundraisers at the Swindon event in 2007.
5. I raised, if I remember rightly (my fundraising page has expired), about £400 personally (without any corporate help).
6. My new target for 2008 will be £500. Cancer Research and I will gratefully accept all help.
7. Mac will help me in 2008.
8. My dad is due his CT Scan in January. Then we will know what the future holds.
9. They have offered him ‘interim chemo’ which he has refused. No wonder, they told him about all the side effects.
10. If my dad is sick I may have to shuttle between here and Scotland to help out.
11. After four weeks on a nicotine patch in hospital my dad is attempting to give up his 40 a day habit.
12. I spoke to my goddaughter and her mother in Canada a couple of nights ago.
13. We have confirmed cyberkitten and I will be travelling to see them (after five years!) at the end of April.
14. I am excited and nervous.
15. I hope to see mah Blogsister, Dawnie (Retarded Rugrat) and her Jeffers while I am there – but I know they’ll be busy…getting married!
16. I am the youngest of four children.
17. Another year has passed and I still don’t talk to my sister.
18. About fifteen years ago, she told me that she thought me stupid and if I wasn’t her sister she wouldn’t choose me to be her friend so I stopped being her sister.
19. My younger brother hasn’t spoken to me for 20yrs, as he thinks I am the spawn of the devil – aren’t psychological conditions fun?
20. My elder brother is currently working in Nigeria, he has a successful marriage, an excellent job, three wonderful children and is gregarious and popular – did he get my life by accident?
21. Younger brother and sister are both happy to talk to elder brother, but not baby sister.
22. Bearing #13-18 in mind, I have surrounded myself with friends who love me for who I am not what I am.
23. Every Christmas I mourn the fact that I couldn't have children.
24. I also mourn on Mothers Day.
25. But it’s a fact I can’t change, so I only allow myself to feel sorry about it at certain times.
26. I have had depression since the surgery that uncovered my barrenness, but lately have been very bad at taking my medication.
27. I am paranoid.
28. I am neurotic.
29. I have mild intermittent agoraphobia.
30. I also have coulrophobia, musophobia, dentophobia and one so far un-named phobia.
31. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.
32. Musophobia is the fear of mice (actually all rodents terrify me).
33. I am trying to meet my dentophobia head on – and my dentist is helping me.
34. My un-named phobia is the fear of masks. I am terrified of people wearing masks.
35. I love my cats. They are all rescue animals.
36. Before Charlie we had Echo.
37. I noticed our neighbour’s cat having contractions when I went in to feed her.
38. I delivered three kittens. The first came out no trouble and the second got stuck and had to be delivered by hand. Echo was the runt, stillborn and I revived her.
39. Until she was six months old she could not be clearly identified as male or female – hence the unisex name.
40. When she had her sterilisation it was discovered that the internal female organs were predominant.
41. Echo was due to come in one June evening but it was a lovely night, so I let her have a few more minutes to enjoy the summer evening.
42. Ten minutes later I got a phone call to say she had been in a car accident and was DOA at the vet. So I created her and killed her.
43. Ambrose, Pandora’s life companion, was killed on the same road in 2001.
44. We don’t let our cats out any more.
45. One day I must count my teddy bears.
46. I have 21 around the house, including bears, dogs, penguins, dragons etc.
47. That’s not including the suitcase full in the spare room and the sackful in the loft.
48. In my collection I have a huge Sully and a very big Stitch.
49. I have some bears that mean things.
50. Mac is my Race for Life Bear. He is a breast cancer bear, named for the Macmillan Cancer Support charity. He has two sisters, one in Vancouver (Shanti) and one in LA (to be named).
51. Ginger Pye was one of my first bears, my ‘new dad’ bought him for me on a cross-channel ferry when I saw him in the kiosk window and begged. I think I was 12.
52. Albert is my dentist bear. I take him with me to the dentist as I am very fearful. He takes a beating every appointment.
53. Geoffrey is my polar bear. Bobkat gave him to me. He is my travelling bear and goes with me every time I go away.
54. Bojangles is my stuffed dog. He was a gift from my beloved friend Silentmum and has been adopted by my ancient pussycat Pandora as a pillow in her bed. She looks so cute sleeping with her chin on the little dog.
55. I find my bears comforting.
56. I am a Scorpio, although I do not ascribe to all the characteristics.
57. I was two weeks late. If I was born on time I would have been a Libra – and I fulfil some of the Libra characteristics.
58. I am a wood dragon in the Chinese zodiac, and the character reading is far more accurate than the astrological zodiac.
59. I am a snake in the shaman calendar.
60. I see a pattern in # 56-59 – do you?
61. My real dad died when I was 17. I asked God why and got no response.
62. I didn’t talk with God again until cyberkitten and I started discussing faith.
63. I am a Quaker (although not signed up!) and believe in direct communication.
64. I also respect all other faiths, and am interested in them.
65. I dislike people who say their faith is absolutely the right one and tell me I will be punished for my beliefs.
66. When I was in hospital for surgery, a girl came in having a miscarriage. She got very upset and I tried to comfort her.
67. Nurses in the British NHS have very little time to allow them to sit with distressed patients. You get a lot of distressed patients in the gynae ward.
68. She believed that the earth was created and ruled by aliens in a big ship orbiting the planet.
69. She was cool – we agreed to disagree. I sat with her for three hours, complete with drip and colostomy bag.
70. But at least I comforted her enough to stop her crying.
71. I cry on the inside – a lot.
72. Since I left school I have always had children around me.
73. I have been involved with five families over the years.
74. I started out at 17 as housekeeper for a family of four, including a toddler in a wheelchair.
75. Now I am part of the Aginoth clan, and babysit their three children for free.
76. There is nothing like having a drowsy child in your arms, all soft and clingy.
77. I rocked a child non-stop for 5 hours once – I was fifteen and just couldn’t shift some trapped wind. As the parents walked in the door the baby gave out a huge burp, farted and fell asleep instantly.
78. LMD holds the current record of 3 hours of making me hold her and rock her out of sheer peevishness.
79. LMD is conniving and very clever, and I love her for it. Until recently I called her ‘The Baby That Hates Me’.
80. Whether prompted or not the Aginoth children always seem thrilled to see me and it warms my heart every time.
81. I am interested in forensics and have Bill Bass’ autobiography.
82. Bill Bass created the Body Farm at Tennessee University, made famous in a novel by Patricia Cornwell, to study the decomposition of bodies.
83. I know more than most about gunshot wounds, blood spatter and adipocere (look it up!).
84. Sir Bernard Spilsbury’s biography is on my wishlist along with other forensic books.
85. I refuse to watch CSI as the only episode I ever watched got the forensics wrong.
86. NCIS get the forensics right – but that is partly due to the hard work and dedication of David McCallum who plays the ME.
87. Dead human bodies don’t bother me at all.
88. Dead animal bodies really upset me and make me physically sick.
89. I have seen dead human bodies.
90. A man drowned at the pool I was working at one summer.
91. A 12-year-old boy died in my arms after being hit by a truck. He was a mess. I was twenty.
92. I had survivor’s guilt for years, as he ran past me before being hit by the truck. I could have grabbed his coat.
93. Fifteen years later I grabbed the dungaree straps of a little boy about to run in front of a car. When his mother arrived seconds later, she berated me for ‘touching’ her son.
94. I would do it again.
95. My latest hobby is re-enacting. I have just completed my first season.
96. Our period is the 14C, 1370 to be exact. The company believes in living history and authenticity. If they didn’t have it in 1370, then we can’t have it.
97. It’s nice – and surprisingly relaxing.
98. I am a moneyer. There were no women moneyers recorded in the period, but I am very good at it and raised almost £500 for the company in 2007. So I created a fictional back-story for those who questioned my presence. So much for authenticity [grin].

99. In 2008 I will have an apprentice. A new friend, L, who will also be sharing my tent. She will be my ‘sister’ to the public.
100. I am stunned that I got to 100. When you start these things, 1 seems miles from 100.

Happy New Year!!

Here's to 2008!


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Well done on reaching 100, CQ. You've had a tough tiime there, I can see.

Michele sent me.

Bilbo said...

Afraid of clowns? Well, drat...there go my chances of getting a date by squirting you in the face with my boutonniere...

Dianne said...

Well done CQ. Quite a journey from 1 to 100.

Ladybug Crossing said...

Wow... great list! I don't like clowns either. They're scary.

Fizzy said...

you have definately laid yourself bare! A very honest list - you are very brave

David Edward said...

excellent work, CQ
I am relieved that your fears do not include the fear of men with chainsaws.
I must read that again, lots of "stuff" in there.

rashbre said...

Great post, tough to complete and full of personal detail. Great to see your plans into 2008.

best, rashbre

kenju said...

Very interesting reading, CQ, and some points of interest in common - forensics being one of them. Michele says hi!

yellojkt said...

That is an amazing list. You have a very interesting complicated life.

michele sent me.

Shannon akaMonty said...

Crap, I think it ate my comment.

You are many-layered and complex, and each of those numbers has a story behind it that I'd love to hear!
Your 100 list is one of the most unique and interesting I've seen.
I am in awe of your life, which is SO FAR from my humdrummery...but I guess it's not without its heartaches too.

OH and PS HELL YEAH, people in masks are TOTALLY CREEPY.

Shannon akaMonty said...

AND I forgot to say that I REMEMBER GINGER PYE! I loved that book. Haven't thought of it in years & years & years...thanks for the memory!

Anonymous said...

Oh oh oh!! You mentioned me!! AND Shanti too!! Hehe.

All I can say is Wow! I actually feel like I finally know the lady behind the Mask (as it were, I loved that huge mask you used as your display pic before!)

Sometimes, it's the little details that come out that really sort of allow others to understand who a person is. You've shared a lot with us today. It brings you just a few steps closer to us all :)

Sara said...

Hello, Michele sent me - even though I had planned on visiting anyway!!! Still haven't gotten around to my shower!

Loved your 100 - very, very interesting! Good to learn about you!

Anonymous said...

Michele sent me to check out your quirks & comments, very interesting reading I must say.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh this was soooooo very wonderful CQ! Everything about it! PERFECTION!
I have always known we have much in common....The "Bears"....Someday I must count mine! I gave quite a few away, quite a few years ago...but, more took their place.

That trip you are going to take...Will that include coming South?? I hope so. You must visit all the Bears and Sweetie & Me, too! You will be just that much closer, you know....
And here is 'the name'...."Little Darlin'..." Isn't that sweet? Because she is a Little Darlin...!

I love that you gave so very much of yourself to all of us, today, Dear Cq....And it is amazing how suddenly you are at 100, and you realize you actually could do more!!

Unknown said...

CQ: We warriors of life are often ones who have the sad lot of being surrounded by crazed family members and reeling from losses that come with the risk of becoming "involved"--a word that for me describes courage. My feeling here is that YOU ROCK, CQ! :D)) Pulling for you and your Dad mentioned here too I see. (((HUGS)))!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Hey My Dear...When you get up in the morning....Come on by my blog...Cause, I have a special treat for you and some others....(*naomi smiles*)

And I understand so very much of what you have gone through and still go through.....
Family, Sometimes the cruelist cuts of all!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Many are afraid of clowns. That movie 'It' has a lot to answer for.

Michele sent me. Happy New Year.

Lazy Daisy said...

Wow girlfriend, I've never done a 100 lists. I'm impressed by your honesty and your vulnerability. Hope your New Year finds you healthy and wiser for your experiences. Love ya babe!

Anonymous said...

It made interesting reading. Why is family difficult?

MMichle sends her best.

I wish you a Very Happy 2008!

Sara said...

Hello, Michele sent me to say, I hope you have a wonderful New Year!!!

The original "Shall We Dance" or the one with Richard Gere????

Walker said...

Yup you laid it bare, only thing missing was the Bear skin rug.

I hope you have a Happy New Year

Moon said...

I have met a few ppl who are afraid of clowns lol,
Have a Happy New Year!! Michele says so too!

Sandra Evertson said...

Happy New Year to you and yours!
Sandra Evertson

David Edward said...




Unknown said...

CQ: Never mind the facial expression of Mr. Corleone to the right. I will be Toasting You a Happy 2008 "low key" just around the corner from my apartment! :D

Terry said...

Dear Crazie Queen.
Anybody who doesn't talk to you, well they are the losers!
You are so funny, full of humour and good spirit and yet underneath you are real soft and kind and such a gentle soul!
I am glad that I met you at Minerva's and even though I don't comment very often, I am here reading, and I have even read your good stories. My favourite writers are Lucy Maude Montgomery and Jeanette Okes and your home spun stories are just what I love!

You know Crazie Queen, I don't think that you will ever get over not having children.
Bernie and I couldn't have kids and we are 58, married 35 years, so whenever I see people in their early thirties, I think...Hmmm...We could of had kids this age!
I do have contact with kids though. For a few years I taught piano lessons to children and nowadays every Sunday, I pick up a car full of kids for Sunday school.
I spoil them rotten and then I return them to their Mama. lots of the kids I pick up for Sunday School are from broken families..

You are not stupid Crazie Queen...You are so intelligent that sometimes I have to read your posts twice before I understand.
I think that Minerva really loves you too because you are so kind and yet down to earth with your comments...

I will pray for your dad. My dad has to go January 10th for an artery neck operation.
So when I pray for him, I will pray for your dad.

Don't you ever give up your blog either because it is one fantastic one!!

Happy New Year...I am sorry I talk too much sometimes but after I read your 100 things, I felt that I had to......Love Terry

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year to my amazing wonderful blogsistah!

May your new year bring you lots of surprises, and everything you wish for, and may our friendship continue to grow.

Love you hon!!

Minerva said...

What an amazing list..and how illuminating too.. Thank you so much for sharing...


rashbre said...

...and a Happy New Year!

HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

Quite a list. Maybe I need to start doing it in installments, as part of my blog365 committment.
Michele sent me.
Happy New Year.

Melli said...

Oh my gosh! You really did 100! WOW! I was a little less enthusiastic - I only answered 39 questions! (actually less -- I removed a few!) HAPPY NEW YEAR CQ!!!

YellowRose said...

My dear Queenie, what a wonderful list!! I certainly enjoyed reading and learning more about you!! As for those who choose not to talk to you, it's their loss!! I have some of those myself and have learned that it's their problem, not mine! Also, I HATE clowns too, and have since I was little!! Freak me out!

You are wonderful! I am wishing you a fantastic 2008 my dear Queenie for you deserve it! Hugs from across the pond! ;)

Unknown said...

Quite a list cq - I read everyone of them. The ones that stuck with me most was that you are estranged from your brother and sister and that someone died in your arms.

Have a blessed new year.

MaR said...

What a list, cq...!! So sorry to hear about you losing your dad at such an early age. You have gone through many intense experiences and I think they made you stronger. Your siblings don't know what they are missing, I can only feel sorry for them, really.
That trip to Canada sounds like fun!!
Happy New Year, it seems 2008 has many good things going for youuuuu!

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