Saturday, April 14, 2007

100 Signs that you're a Re-enactor - Part I

(Picture of Mrs Aginoth, LMB & LMD by Aginoth)
1 - 50...

1. You and your mates stand on a street corner on the route of a historical procession, and people ask you if you're part of said procession.
2. You and your friends have wandered down the road and into the pub, only to be asked if you're invading, which brand of mead you'd prefer, and if you could you mind where you're putting those spears, please.
3. When a lecturer fails to show up, and somebody grabs the long board pointer to use as a spear, your mate takes it off him, and proceeds to demonstrate a typical advance with a spear - only to meet you coming at him with the short board pointer wielded like a langseax. And the rest of the lecture hall swear that the two of you look better at this than they do in the films.
4. You can't pass the scrap skip outside the local sheet metal shop without raiding it for raw materials
5. Your "first car" is a transit van.
6. You can work out, accurately, how many crossbow bolts, arrows, etc. you need for a weekend, but believe that a tin of Ravioli will feed you for three days
7. You close every curtain in your house before getting changed, but will happily undress to get into kit in the middle of a public carpark.
8. You use a scramseax as a door wedge.
9. You use a Moniac Mead bottle to prop open your window.
10. You buy reproduction 14th Cheamware pots and use them as normal everyday coffee cups.
11. You use the phrase "Bugger this for a game of soldiers" other than metaphorically.
12. You can sleep through drunken singing, gaming and three part harmony snoring echoing off castle walls.
13. You recognise people in battle scenes in TV programmes and films.
14. You have weapons stacked in the living room.
15. After getting back from an event you pop out of the house to post a letter and are halfway down the road before you realise you're still barefoot.
16. You get completely confused when packing for a camping trip that isn't a reenactment event and have this nagging suspicion all weekend that you've forgotten something.
17. You can't sing without a drink in your hand.
18. You drive by some open land and think "What a great place for a battle!"
19. Your idea of a fun weekend is sleeping outside in the rain.
20. You can spot 100% wool at 30 yards.
21. You have a whole room of your house given over as an armoury.
22. You've ever said the words "only X more days 'til (some event)!".
23. You've received cuts, burns, pulled out thorns, got poison ivy, and still look forward to camping at events.
24. Your dinner guests see your kit and ask if you're in a play.
25. In the middle of summer, you dread wearing a short sleeved shirt in your air conditioned office, but you can't wait to get to the next event, where you can dress in three layers of wool and sit round a campfire.
26. You've worn wool when the temperature tops 100 degrees Fahrenheit, repeatedly.
27. People greet you on Monday morning with "So did you kill anyone this weekend?".
28. You can't use your dining table because it's covered in half finished mail.
29. You have a table specifically for making mail so it doesn't take up your dining table.
30. You suffer from post-battle depression.
31. You know every line in Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail by heart.
32. You've stopped watching Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail because you know every line by heart.
33. Bad fighting and/or costuming has ruined an otherwise decent movie for you.
34. You're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do embroidery in public.
35. At a formal dinner party, you politely grab your sleeve to keep it from dropping in the food, only to realize you're wearing a suit.
36. You can eat equally well with a dagger or a fork.
37. You've decorated a cake in Celtic knotwork.
38. You return to work after a weekend event, only to find you left all your money in your belt pouch.
39. After a party you ask yourself "Hm. Now where are my clothes?" and you're stone sober and fully dressed.
40. You can and do curse in Gaelic, but you aren't Scottish
41. You have more kit than clothes and the kit is in better condition.
42. You visit a period castle, notice the draperies and bedspreads, and think of what lovely clothing they would make.
43. Your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin people, but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup truck saying "We'll need the extra space for events!"
44. Your reference section on your field of interest is better than the equivalent section in the local library.
45. Your idea of a packed lunch is mince-meat pie, cold mulled cider and wafers left over from the feast the week-end before.
46. Your hobby takes more of your time than your job.
47. You name your pets after obscure historical figures.
48. You name your children after obscure historical figures.
49. People assume that you're an exchange student/recent immigrant because they hear people calling you by the most outlandish names.
50. You take a medieval history course in college, and find out you already own the textbooks.
More in Part Two!


Bobkat said...

LOL! Some of them are true for me though I'm not a re-enator! I gte asked No. 27 every Monday ;-) but then I do practice Western Martial Arts!

Michele sent me over Hon!

Bobkat said...

Michele sent me back!

So, how many apply to you? I wonder how many will apply by the end of the season [grin]? It's a downward spiral Hon but I am glad you found something that you love doing :0)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You've got plenty there!

Walker said...

lol @ #34

I want to see that but with him wearing his colors LMAO!!!!

sage said...

Funny, too bad your not in America, not only are they're those folks who dress up like people living in the middle ages, they're Civil War reinactors who redo battles and mountain men rendevous. You should read "Confederates in the Attic" a funny book deals a lot about those guys who play "Civil War" BTW, Michele sent me to say hi.

Michael K. Althouse said...

Ouch! That last one has to hurt;-')

Michele sent me,


OldLady Of The Hills said...

It sounds like you are Hooked, CQ...Very Funny...I like the one where you are outside running around barefoot! (LOL)

Nobody sent me, my dear, I'm here because I sent me!

Anonymous said...

These are fabulous. Made me chuckle.

Michele sent me.

Unknown said...

#32 made me lol! Hubs refuses to watch certain movies with him, that is one of them.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.